We Whiskey You A Merry Ugly Christmas Sweater



We Whiskey You A Merry Ugly Christmas Sweater


We Whiskey You A Merry Ugly Christmas Sweater
We Whiskey You A Merry Ugly Christmas Sweater

It was a frosty Thursday morning. The sky was covered in dark clouds, and the air felt crisp. I had just finished breakfast with my family when the doorbell rang.
The answer to our Christmas prayers!
It’s here! It’s finally here!
I ran up to the door and tore it open without looking through the peephole first (that habit is dangerous!), only to find that it wasn’t Santa on our doorstep but rather some kind of mailman holding an envelope addressed to me. He handed it over, said Merry Ugly Christmas Sweaters, and walked away before I could ask him anything else about what he meant by his cryptic message or why he didn’t show any ID at all if he was who he

“Merry Christmas Eve, Grandma!” I yelled as I hung up the phone. “Don’t worry about dinner tonight, we’ll go out to eat.”
I looked at my small kitchen and sighed. There was a myriad of dishes in the sink from last night’s meal- not to mention, a week’s worth of leftovers piled on top of each other in the fridge. Then there were all those takeout containers…none of it would be any good after sitting around for so long!
Wait, that stack is full of Ugly Christmas Sweaters! Suddenly an idea popped into my head: why don’t we just give one away? Maybe this year someone will actually enjoy wearing it and feel really special at

Merry, or not so merry, Christmas! This year the company is giving away ugly sweaters for free. The only thing you have to do is buy a ticket and hope that your number gets picked from the hat. Once it does, they’ll give you a sweater of any size and color you want. But be careful! If someone else has your same number in their hand before you get yours then both of you will get an ugly sweater instead of one winner getting one for free while the other pays fifty dollars.

We Whiskey You A Merry Ugly Christmas Sweater

We Whiskey You A Merry Ugly Christmas Sweater
We Whiskey You A Merry Ugly Christmas Sweater

“We whiskey you a merry ugly Christmas sweater,” said Tom. “I’m really sorry, but I can’t do it.” Said Joe. “Why not?” Asked the salesman. “Because I don’t drink alcohol!”

Howard was a very happy man. He had just bought the most adorable Christmas sweater from his favorite store, Jingle Bells. It was a sparkly purple and green with a snowman on the front. He couldn’t wait to show it off to Debbie when he got home! She always liked it whenever he wore something new.

But when Howard knocked on Debbie’s door, she looked at him with disgust and said “What is that?” in disbelief. When she saw the snowman plastered across his chest, her facial expression went from bad to worse as she shook her head in disapproval before slamming the door in his face without another word spoken between them.

The day before Christmas Eve, I was eagerly scrolling through the website trying to find the perfect ugly sweater for my family members. I had finally found it- a fuzzy green one with reindeer crossing in front of two snowflakes. The sweater was on sale! It said that if you bought now it would arrive by Christmas Eve morning.
I got an email 20 minutes later saying that my order could not be filled because they were out of stock and there weren’t any more shipments coming in.
It’s so frustrating when something like this happens right before what is supposed to be your celebratory holiday season!

The most ugly Christmas sweater you’ll ever see comes in the form of a bottle. The dark green packaging, with its golden lettering and gingerbread man-shaped bow is topped off by a red ribbon for all to see.
Inside, the 24 year old bourbon has been distilled six times before being aged two extra years in charred oak barrels. This combination of aging techniques gives it an unbelievably smooth taste at full proof. But don’t be afraid to have some fun! Add some ice or mix it with Coke for your very own Kentucky Christmas cocktail that will please even Santa Clause himself!

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